I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
