I heard we made out
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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