Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I enjoy the company of your penis
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