You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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