haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
