The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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