When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
