i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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