Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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