I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
