you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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