wat bout pragnant strippers??
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
