if you like me you must not know who I am
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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