you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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