Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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