Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
