Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
