I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I just blew my weed a kiss
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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