Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
