He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Randomize
