Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
