Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Randomize
