u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Semen is not good for contacts.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
