Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
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