Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Success! We fucked roommates!
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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