I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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