I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
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I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We were destined to go to rehab together
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
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