He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
