Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
