You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
