Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
