If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
