Pants 0. Shit 1.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
