that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
