There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
This house was built for laser tag.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
