she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
