I have demons in me.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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