On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
