rhymes with "ouble enetration"
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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