nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
