I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
