I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
