Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
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We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Boobs are out for the taking
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I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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