Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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