Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Randomize
