Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
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