hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
