I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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