can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
