I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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