He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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