dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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