You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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