come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
