What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
