i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
