I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize