he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I pour the whiskey from now on
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize