we have officially lost it.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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