I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
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