Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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