I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
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