**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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