Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
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