He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
