Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
