apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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